My Supports

My supports in my life are my faith, love, myself, family and friends. With the support of my faith it reminds me that I am forgiven and loved. Knowing that allows me peace of mind in my daily life.  God will never give me more than I can handle. I may be uncomfortable and challenged but he will not let me fail without just cause or another way closely behind. Next to God, love is a big supporter in my life. It is amongst the most important, natural, and easy to do. In regards to myself being a support I have to keep myself physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy. Being healthy allows me to support myself and my family. I am able to work, play with my children, participate in numerous activities, and to stay focused during my online learning, My family is a daily and constant support that I need. Knowing that I have my husband, children, parents and siblings lifting me up keeps me going. If I am having an emotional day I know I can call my mom or sisters and they remind me to smell the roses. My husband provides me with love, affirmations, school and home support. He allows me my time to study while he cooks dinner and cares for the kids. He also makes it a point to make my mornings run as smooth as possible helping with morning routines. My friends provide my life with laughter. Laughter is important for me and reminds me not to take life so seriously.

I believe without my supports I would smile less, doubt myself, and not have the same confidence as I do now. My supports keep me going through my daily life. My supports push me to wake in the morning for work, to work towards the highest grade possible in each class, to be for others as they are for me, to live by faith, hope, and most importantly LOVE.

When I think about the many challenges that those around us face I think of those whom have lost their homes. If my family and I were to lose our home that would be extremely difficult. I would need monetary support, family support, and most of all my faith. However, if this were to happen the support of my family would come into play. We would have somewhere to live as we got back on our feet, we would be given the chance to save money, and I know God would step in when he saw fit and his plan was in place.

My supports help me each and every day in my life. They prompt me to be a better person and give me the drive to move forward. God and Love are my foundation and provide me with my support and the wonderful people around me.

My Connections to Play

Play for my as a child was both structured and unstructured. At the age of 5 I started swimming on a competitive team and participating in ballet and tap lessons. However, my favorite time of play was when I was with my best friend Brittany and our neighborhood friends Rodney and Miguel. If I could go back to that time I would have all 4 of us outside playing tag, making up games, engaging in a game of hide-and-seek and our arguments. As a child (and now my husband would agree) I was bossy. I wanted to run the show, which sometimes did not go over well with the boys and they didn't want to play with me. If we were not running the street we were in my backyard swimming and making up diving games, pretending to be mermaids, or seeing who could hold their breathe the longest. Those days were the greatest though. There wasn't stress just play. If we were thirsty we drank from the hose with the fear if we went in the house we would have to stay in the house. Our only clock was the glow of the street lights. The adults on our block watched after all the kids. All throughout the day you heard our laughter, tears when we scratched up our legs, and us arguing when I was being too bossy. For me play was and is still essential. My type of play now is much different than it was at child but nonetheless still around. Playing as a child was essential for me. Through play I had to learn that when you are not willing to compromise people do not want to play with you, I learned how to manage my feelings and I believe it also helped me to be a leader. Play as an adult keeps me sane. It reminds me that life does not always have to be so serious, I learn new skills, and most importantly I laugh and smile the whole time.

Play today is something much more different. When a kid these days say they are going to play they turn on a game system, computer, or tablet. It is not too often children are choosing to get up, get out and play. With the advancement and popularity of technology outdoors is not much of an interest. However, I will say it is not just technology. Times have changed in the sense of community. Families keep to themselves in their homes in fear of the unknown, violence floods streets making it unsafe to have a foot race, and people are losing their homes making it much harder to establish roots and trust. I believe being aware of the shift in types of play it is even more important to make sure children are getting those opportunities to get out and play.


Below are quotes and images that express and show my idea of my childhood play experiences:

Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over the quayside - children have their own agendas and timescales.  As they find out more about their world and their place in it, they work hard not to let adults hurry them.  We need to hear their voices.  ~Cathy Nutbrown

The quote to the left expresses my thoughts about out childhood as a whole 

 

Always jump in the puddles! Always skip alongside the flowers. The only fights worth fighting are the pillow and food varieties. Terri Guillemets

 

I chose the image to the right because play for me was always social

 

 

As a child my friends and I were always making some kind of mess and Brittany and I still laugh about our adventures to this day.

I love this because parents these days are always worried about their children getting messy and wanting to play in a mud puddle. We were always messy and it was ok because we got tossed into the bath each night.

My childhood friends and I learned to skate together on our little fisher price skates and from there once we got older we would roller blade to get ice cream.

The Swimming pool. Being on a swim team I lived in the pool and Brittany was right there with me. We would swim until we could not see, our hands looked old, or we were tore out of the pool. We would pretend that there were sharks in the pool and we were beautiful mermaids.

Relationship Reflection

Relationships to me are vital. I view each relationship I have as a piece that makes me up as a whole. God is my foundation. He helps to keep me going on a daily basis and reminds me continuously that he has a plan for my life. Next is my family. My family is not made up of simply my blood. My family also consist of a close group of friends which many I have know since I myself was a toddler and others I met in my early adolescence and most recently in my new career. My family is simple amazing and supportive from my husband and kids, to my parents, siblings, and my friends. Each of us makes it a point to encourage one another and to remember that God woke us up today and gave us each a skill to help others.

Me Worshiping at the Harvest Crusades:  

As I mentioned my relationship with God is amongst the most important relationship that I have. Through him I am able to love, be a wife to my husband, a mother to my children, a daughter, sister, aunt, friend and to use the gift he has given me to work with children and families.

My Family: My husband Kendrick and I are still newlyweds. Our relationship functions by communication, trust, and unconditional love. We make it a point to have date nights and put our kids to bed by 8:30 each night as to give ourselves time to check in with one another. My older son Myles is my step-son. This is a wonderful relationship that he and I share. We talk about our days, spend one on one time together, but ultimately I let him know that he is mine and always will be. The youngest one is my baby boy Harvey. He and I have a relationship that only a mother and son can know. He is the only one who knows what my heart beat sounds like from the inside. We spend our time cuddling, reading, talking, and watching Veggie Tales. 

 

 

 My sisters and I: These two women are amazing creatures. My sister Desiree on the left lives in Texas and it a Lt. in the Navy. We maintain our relationship through communication. Random text messages to say that we are thinking about one another or quick phone conversations to say hello. My sister to the right Yolanda, lives in California. She is a wonderful example of a wife, mother, and friend. Though we are only 45mins away from one another we still do not get to see each other as often as we would like. We make it a point to try and talk every day and have sister days when permitted. Both of my sisters and myself make sure that we stay contacted and communicate with what is going on in our lives. We are  Best Friends!

 

 

 

My Mother (in the middle) and my Father (below with my son Harvey)

 

My relationships with these two people is one full of open communication, love and support. I may be grown and with my own family but I know I can always talk to either of them about anything in my life. My mother is like my best friend and my dad is the first man to hold my heart. I adore them both and strive to make them proud in all that I do.

 

My Best Friend Brittany and I Ready for a Mud Run: We were born months apart and have been friends ever since. We see one another maybe 4 times a year and when we do we never skip a beat. We communicate through text messages in between time. When we are together we love to do physical activities and talk about when we were kids. Our  relationship is based off trust and one that will stand the test of time.

Myself, Harvey, Jaclyn and Alec: Jaclyn was my second friend. We met at the age of two and have been friends for the last 24years. She is my amazing photographer, one I can talk to about anything and our sons are now growing up with one another as we did.

 

Harvey, Me and Mike (Harvey's Godfather): Mike and mines friendship is an example of Gods plans in action. Mike and I did not always get along, and really did not become great friends until we were seniors in high school. We then attended college together. From there we were one another support system, counselor, chef, roommates, and anything else the other one needed. He has become my "brother" and my sons God father. We talk on the phone and through text messages at least 3 times a week. We are his other family and his continuous support as he embarks on his journey of life.

Crysten and I met in 1st grade. Our friendship blossomed from our shared first grade teacher. We attended school together since elementary school through high school, shared college experiences, gave birth to our sons within 5 months of one another, and have continued to be sisters in Christ. Our little families have dinner nights together, we talk about life and the changes we are going through and always reflect back on all of our antics. Our friendship is one of trust as we have shared many important life lessons and experiences with each other.

 

Ashley, to the far left, was one of the girls I met in high school. I am her wonderful son Jordan's God Mother. Our friendship later in life took a lot more work and communication. Since a recent dramatic life changing incident in her life we have made it a point to talk almost everyday. Our communication is key to our friendship and relationship. It is our check and balance for one another and a reminder to her that I am never too far away to help make the tears fade, the smile to appear, and the laughter to make our stomachs hurt.

 

 

 

Each relationship with these people is unique and important to me. Not one of them is easily maintained. They all require understanding, communication, love, and respect. We all have different ways of doing things and do not always agree but we always listen to one another and try to understand and be the support the is needed. Each of our relationships keeps us healthy and happy through laughter, tears, food, love, and individual and shared experiences. The people I have shared with you are important people and relationships but of course not the only ones that I cherish and work at each day to maintain. Understanding the work and importance of my personal relationships helps me to work with my families professionally. Each one of the families is unique and needs something different from me. Ultimately they all take love, support, understanding, and patience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I Think About Children

"Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world" -Maria Montessori

                                                                                         "It is easier to build strong children than
                                                                                           to repair broken men"-Fredrick Douglass

"Adults are always asking little kids what they
 want to be when they grow up because they are
 looking for ideas"-Paula Poundstone


"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I understand."- Chinese Proverb


                                    "What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge,
                                               and not the knowledge in pursuit of the child"-George Bernard Shaw


"Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate."-Anonymous


                                                            "Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them."
                                                                                      -Lady Bird Johnson, former U.S. First Lady

"I continue to believe that if children are given
the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed
beyond their wildest dreams!"-David Vitter, U.S. Senator

                          "Be the change that you want to see in the world."-  Mohandas Ghandi

I am More than just a SCORE: Assessing the Child as a WHOLE

Test! Test! Test! Everything seems to be about test for children these days. Standard test that puts them in a percentile that some parents do not understand. Lessons that are geared toward making sure that class does the best so they can have a pizza party at the end of the year. It has all become a bit overrated for my own liking. What happened to seeing the child for the whole person that they are?
Children should be assessed in creative ways not a "one size fits all". Standard test are all written the same way from child to child. However, some children learn and understand differently.
A primary example is my older son. He is 7 going on 8. I help him with his homework and watch as he scratches his head and smoke slowly begins to come out his ears. He may become frustrated or feel like he can not do it. However, the next day he can come home with a "blue print" of his newest invention and sit down and tell my husband and I how it would work and what he would need and the purpose and benefits of such an invention. It amazes us each time how his mind works. This is something that as we assess children we need to take into account. We need to look at each child as a whole and what their strengths and abilities are. Children should be assessed verbally, physically, and written. Children are more that a multiple choice bubble test. However, we are not the only ones who have "state test".

Russia also has a committee if you will that meets to make sure standards in education are being up held and to make sure their state test meets their educational standards that in which they had set forth. In Russia with their state test that is similar to what we would consider our state test. It is the same test across the board and given at the same time at 9th grade. These test, a bit different from our own wonderful standard test, measure the children on multiple levels. The outcomes of these test is similar to a little path that the child may take in helping them to decide what their focus for secondary school will be.

I find having assessments that help the child to better their skills and desires is much more important then trying to fit multiple colored gum balls in one gum ball machine. Sure, it all looks fun, festive, and colorful, but ultimately not all the gum balls taste alike. Appreciating each "gum ball" which in this case is the child for their own unique abilities will be a better factor in helping a child to reach their full potential. We must allow the whole child to shine!

Children Should be Seen and Heard

Divorce has become more common compared to the 1950's and earlier generations. These days people seem to get married with the idea "hey if it doesn't work out there is always divorce". However, that is not how marriage was set up or meant to be. We see the hurt and stress it can cause between two adults but sometimes the ones who are really hurt are the children.

Children should be seen and not heard, that is an old common phrase we have heard in the past. I believe that children should be seen and heard and when we are able to listen and watch that is how we learn about the child. I have seen how the family situation of divorce plays an important role in the child's life. A child in the middle of divorce may feel that they have to choose sides, that if they have fun at one of their parents house they must "keep it a secret", or the younger ones are used as a pawn. A parent may keep the child away from the other parent to hurt them when really they are hurting the child and creating stress in their little world.

Sadly divorce occurs for children world wide. There may be different laws in different countries and states regarding the placement of children. Divorce can affect each child differently depending on the experience but it is still stressful for them and understanding their "role" and finding their identity in a drastic change of events.

Breast is Best

"Mom, milk mom, milk, Harvey milk", this is what is coming out of my sons mouth while he is pulling down my shirt and attempting to pull my boob out in the middle of Target. Now to some this would be "cute", and normally to me this is cute when it is occurring to other people. However, the first issue was we were walking through target with my girlfriends and their babies, the second my son is almost two, and lastly I have not breastfed my son since he was 5months old. Though we were all laughing to the point of tears it made me think if I had done my son an injustice by bottle feeding him exclusively after 5months of breast.

Now a days we hear a lot about "Breast is Best", health professionals strongly recommend it, and it is the most natural milk for the baby. Studies have shown that breastfeeding is the best for babies and their development. Breastfeeding helps to lower infancy sickness, makes for smarter children, and later puberty are just a few of the benefits(Berger 2012). Besides there being benefits for the baby there are multiple benefits for the mother and family as well. For the mother is it easier to bond with the baby, reduces the chance of breast cancer, and makes it much easier to travel with baby (Berger 2012). Another obvious benefit of breastfeeding is it is free! Of course you may encounter a cracked nipple or two, engorged breast, and leakage but it is a way of feeding as old as time. Breastfeeding is universal and occurs around the world. Western society has embraces breastfeeding and it has become more popular. In the United States, 22% are breastfed at a year. In other societies it can be slightly different.

In China, the support for breastfeeding is not as available. During prenatal visits and the mother's hospital stay after birth they will not get information on the benefits of breastfeeding as in the United States. Despite the lack of support mothers are pro breastfeeding and all mothers plan to breastfeed but do typically wean sooner than planned. Also, breastfeeding in public is much more normal compared to here in the United States. Again breastfeeding is universal and how it was done in the past and how it was meant to be.

In my personal opinion I think breastfeeding is amazing. If possible I believe every woman should breastfeed as long as they are able too. When I  was breastfeeding I did it anywhere and everywhere. I felt the most connected to my son when I was feeding him and would high five other mothers who were doing it. Today I have vowed, if I have another child to breastfeed to a year or more. I was a breastfeeding mama, I am a pro breastfeeding mama, and I believe Breast is Best!