Children Should be Seen and Heard

Divorce has become more common compared to the 1950's and earlier generations. These days people seem to get married with the idea "hey if it doesn't work out there is always divorce". However, that is not how marriage was set up or meant to be. We see the hurt and stress it can cause between two adults but sometimes the ones who are really hurt are the children.

Children should be seen and not heard, that is an old common phrase we have heard in the past. I believe that children should be seen and heard and when we are able to listen and watch that is how we learn about the child. I have seen how the family situation of divorce plays an important role in the child's life. A child in the middle of divorce may feel that they have to choose sides, that if they have fun at one of their parents house they must "keep it a secret", or the younger ones are used as a pawn. A parent may keep the child away from the other parent to hurt them when really they are hurting the child and creating stress in their little world.

Sadly divorce occurs for children world wide. There may be different laws in different countries and states regarding the placement of children. Divorce can affect each child differently depending on the experience but it is still stressful for them and understanding their "role" and finding their identity in a drastic change of events.

Breast is Best

"Mom, milk mom, milk, Harvey milk", this is what is coming out of my sons mouth while he is pulling down my shirt and attempting to pull my boob out in the middle of Target. Now to some this would be "cute", and normally to me this is cute when it is occurring to other people. However, the first issue was we were walking through target with my girlfriends and their babies, the second my son is almost two, and lastly I have not breastfed my son since he was 5months old. Though we were all laughing to the point of tears it made me think if I had done my son an injustice by bottle feeding him exclusively after 5months of breast.

Now a days we hear a lot about "Breast is Best", health professionals strongly recommend it, and it is the most natural milk for the baby. Studies have shown that breastfeeding is the best for babies and their development. Breastfeeding helps to lower infancy sickness, makes for smarter children, and later puberty are just a few of the benefits(Berger 2012). Besides there being benefits for the baby there are multiple benefits for the mother and family as well. For the mother is it easier to bond with the baby, reduces the chance of breast cancer, and makes it much easier to travel with baby (Berger 2012). Another obvious benefit of breastfeeding is it is free! Of course you may encounter a cracked nipple or two, engorged breast, and leakage but it is a way of feeding as old as time. Breastfeeding is universal and occurs around the world. Western society has embraces breastfeeding and it has become more popular. In the United States, 22% are breastfed at a year. In other societies it can be slightly different.

In China, the support for breastfeeding is not as available. During prenatal visits and the mother's hospital stay after birth they will not get information on the benefits of breastfeeding as in the United States. Despite the lack of support mothers are pro breastfeeding and all mothers plan to breastfeed but do typically wean sooner than planned. Also, breastfeeding in public is much more normal compared to here in the United States. Again breastfeeding is universal and how it was done in the past and how it was meant to be.

In my personal opinion I think breastfeeding is amazing. If possible I believe every woman should breastfeed as long as they are able too. When I  was breastfeeding I did it anywhere and everywhere. I felt the most connected to my son when I was feeding him and would high five other mothers who were doing it. Today I have vowed, if I have another child to breastfeed to a year or more. I was a breastfeeding mama, I am a pro breastfeeding mama, and I believe Breast is Best!

Birthing right here in the USA and birthing in Switzerland

"Braxton Hicks, that's all they are babe, really don't worry", those were the last words I spoke to my husband before my water broke all over the couch. We had taken the classes, we knew what to do, but he was almost 4weeks early. Of course my response to the wonderful introduction to contractions was hot running water, I stayed in the shower until my husband drug me out. After about 30minutes in the shower we headed to the hospital, by this time my contractions were 3-5mintues apart and the pain was intense. Once we arrived and I was admitted and checked the first question was "when do you want the meds?" I very nicely (through gritted teeth) told her I want none of it, but that an IV hook up was ok in case of an emergency. I was in labor for a total of 4hours. No medication and feeling every moment of it. I was in control the whole time. My wishes were made clear at the beginning and stayed that way throughout delivery. About 12hours after my son was born my husband noticed that he was blue. He was taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. My first born, my baby boy, spent a week in the hospital. I was only allowed to stay an extra day in the hospital. It was the hardest week of my life. I felt I was not able to bond with my baby in the same way. My pregnancy was great and my delivery amazing however I wish I knew about more options and was able to have more options. In the United States, deliveries in a hospital is normal and now more commonly C-Sections. Women are back to work in 6weeks and 12weeks if they are lucky. However, Switzerland does things a bit differently.

Women have many options when it comes to birth. The hospital, home, and birthing centers (as we would call them). Deliveries outside of an hospital require a midwife to be present. Woman are not allowed to return to work in the first 8weeks following birth and have paid maternity leave for up to 14weeks. Women are protected during and after their pregnancy. With Switzerland it seems as though they have a lot more regards for the woman during pregnancy and after. I believe that allowing the woman a 3month paid maternity leave allows time for the mother to continue bonding with their newborn. Also, women seem to have more choices and midwifery is not frowned upon.

I chose to look at Switzerland because as I did more research after the birth of my son I learned what I wanted if there were to be a next time. I believe that it is important to give women options when it comes to their body. We must remember that giving birth is natural for us as women. Our body already knows what to do and we should be able to do it in the most natural and comfortable way for us.